Telling a girl to relax meme9/20/2023 Either way, however, if it’s become a habit, a therapist might be able to highlight the underlying issues and offer up some guidance on how to resolve the situation. Hopefully, your boo will be dedicated to changing their language once they know that it’s upsetting you. “Therapy is always a great idea to help you gain better insight into yourself and your coping skills,” says Ruiz. What could we do together to help you relax a bit more?"Īfter that discussion, if the problem is still persisting and it’s affecting your relationship, you may want to seek some extra help from a couple's counselor or therapist. For example, Ruiz notes that a more helpful response from your SO could be, "I am noticing you seem stressed. Rather than dwelling on what you don’t want them to say (which could cause them to get defensive), offer up a solution to the problem by advising them on what to say instead. ![]() Edelman suggests something along the lines of, "When you tell me to chill, I feel like my feelings don't matter to you." Edelman tells Elite Daily.Įxperts agree that if it’s bothering you that bae has been saying this to you frequently, it’s definitely worth speaking up. “People can feel frustrated, angry, or misunderstood when someone tells them to calm down because it's like they're saying, ‘You shouldn't feel that way,’ or ‘Your feelings don't count,’” Dr. For example, Amanda Ruiz, licensed professional counselor and founder of The Counseling Collective, points out that if you’ve been stressed, overworked, or overwhelmed lately, then there’s a chance that your feelings and reactions have been a tad amplified - understandably so. Or, it could be because they’ve noticed a shift in how often you're getting worked up. This could be because they express themselves differently than you emotionally (for example, by shutting down or getting quiet when they’re upset). “They may not be comfortable with how emotional your reactions are,” she explains. Susan Edelman, if your SO is telling you to chill on a weekly basis, it likely indicates that they often think you’re overreacting. But if your partner always tells you to chill out or calm down - to the point where you’ve even become accustomed to hearing it - that could mean it’s time to take a deeper dive into your behavior, as well as theirs.Īccording to board-certified psychiatrist Dr. It makes sense if it flies out of your boo’s mouth once in a great while when you’re throwing a mini-tantrum that Chipotle ran out of guac. And yet, it continues to be a common utterance in relationships. Aside from "You’re making no sense,” “It’s fine” (when it’s clearly not), and “I ate your takeout that was in the fridge,” “chill” is just about one of the worst things that can say to your partner.
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